School Lunches Ranked

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Lunch menu in the library.

Joshua Hardiman, Staff Writer

Just know that this purely based on my experiences with the food, and in no way is it meant to demean the lunch staff.  In fact, make sure you thank them every now and then for what they do! They work very hard to make sure everyone has something to eat and this article is purely for fun and for starting a conversation about the best and the worst foods. 

These are the pinnacle of all lunches when you see these you get excited. And can even make a whole week better.

SSS

  • Pepperoni rolls –  I mean, what else did you expect? This rating is furthered when broccoli is on the menu as well.
  • Cheese steaks –  It almost doesn’t make the cut to be even close to the supreme pepperoni roll, but the fact that A1 is available as a condiment and the fact that it is a rare lunch springs it forward.

An overall slamming lunch incredibly enjoyable and definitely makes your day better.

S

  • Salisbury steak –  Boy, this an almost perfect lunch. It hits so hard–the mashed potatoes would be the only downfall of it.
  • Chicken nuggets – This is to be expected. I mean, you can’t go wrong with chicken nuggets, especially since most of the time they come with a roll to make a solid sandwich. And don’t even get me started about the gravy to dip that bad boy in.
  • Holiday lunches – The only reason you enjoy coming to school those last couple of days before a break is for these lunches. While we only get them twice in a year, they are definitely worth the wait, from the gravy to the rolls and the stuffing…You can’t go wrong with these lunches.
  • Oven-baked chicken – There is just something about this lunch. It’s almost like a holiday lunch (happens a few more times a year), but with the roll and the gravy it just makes for such a good sandwich, in my opinion. I would see this as one of the more slept on lunches just because people don’t tend to like fooling with the bones.

A very good meal to be enjoyed, definitely something to look forward to, but definitely not your top choice. The base level of any meal with a roll or garlic bread, as they alone can make a meal so good.

A

  • Hot dogs – What can I say? It’s a good lunch that usually comes with fries and overall isn’t too bad.
  • Hamburgers – Definitely above hot dogs but don’t quite make the elusive S-tier cut.
  • Corn dogs – I feel you can start to see a pattern here, just your average favorite kids’ foods tend to make it to this tier as they can always be enjoyed, corn dogs with fries being no exception.
  • Chicken sandwiches – Going right along with the others, chicken sandwiches are just a solid classic especially with, you guessed it… FRIES!
  • Spaghetti – Overall it can be hit or miss, but when it hits it’s very good. But of course it has the garlic bread to back it up.
  • Baked ham – This lunch is another one of the lunches that kind of goes under the radar but is at the same time just so good: the roll pairs so perfectly with the ham. I hope by now you’ve noticed I’m a bit of a sandwich guy.
  • Chicken twister – It’s chicken on a tortilla.
  • Breakfast for lunch –  I’m as big of a fan of breakfast as anyone could be, and this can definitely scratch the itch for it: slap that sausage on the biscuit, put the egg on there, too, dip it in the gravy, and you are absolutely tearing it up at lunch, that’s for sure. The hashbrown makes for a good side as well.

 

Nothing crazy but, hey, you can definitely be eating on it that’s for sure. The base level for anything with regular potato french fries/wedges (Irish doorstops).

B

  • Quesadilla – I would put it in A tier, but the fact that it tends to be the only really good thing on the tray? It doesn’t rise above. 
  • Fajitas without the tomatoes and corn already in it –  As stated, without the corn and stuff these things slap. The tortillas are just so good! But it has to be averaged with the fact that about 50% of the time it has the undesirable stuff to go with it.
  • Fish sandwiches/sticks – I would move them to C, but the fact that they come with fries and overall aren’t too bad makes them just worthy of B-tier fame
  • Pizza square –  It’s a hit and it always has been. Although more recently it has started to lose some of its flavors (especially since they often ditch the pepperoni). But still very solid.
  • Pulled pork –  In more recent times this would have been on like a C-tier level, but with the fries or wedges it still manages to hold its position.
  • Meatball sub –  Just slightly above the middle-of-the-road lunch as it can definitely hit hard, but the side of fries is inconsistent. 

 

Questionable meals, depend on whether you’re in the mood for them, but not bad, middle of the road

C

  • Chicken Alfredo – This is stated as a very mid-tier meal. It’s not bad, sometimes it’s actually really good, but the bread stick drags it down. Meh.  
  • Pork rib sandwich AKA McRib – This would be so much better, but, sadly, it’s dry due to a lack of sauce. And most of the time there are no fries in sight to rescue the day.

 

Nowhere near the top of your list but it can have some redeeming qualities, and for sure isn’t the worst

D

  • Chili with grilled cheese – The chili can definitely be good but it lacks heavily in the salt department;  oftentimes the grilled cheeses are less than divine, but could definitely be worse.
  • Meatloaf –  I wish I could place this higher on the list but it is just not that great. I would put it on A-tier since it has a roll, but the ratio is way too low to justify such a high placement for this lunch.

 

Just not the best overall, you really don’t feel like eating them but if they happen to be on a day where your very hungry you can nibble on it.

F

  • Chicken noodle soup –  There are things in this world that you want and things you don’t. This happens to be one of the things you don’t. We don’t have often, thankfully.
  • Pizza triangle – I don’t know what happened to this lunchtime delicacy, but recently the overall flavor and quality have gone drastically downhill.

 

Lunches so bad or repetitive that you audibly groan when you see them and almost consider not coming to school. Doesn’t get bullets because this food doesn’t deserve them.

Unrankable

Beefy nacho, taco salad, walking taco –  AKA beefy nacho under 3 names, the only–and I mean only–good thing about any of these is the fact that walking tacos come with Doritos Other than that, it feels as if we have one of these variants every other day. While this actually isn’t the case, obviously, they haunt my dreams and stick with me until we actually do have them again and that just restarts the cycle. My anger at this lunch is immense and my disappointment is immeasurable.