Do you ever catch yourself acting a certain way and not know why? Well, it’s because of your shadow. Saying that sounds scary, but it isn’t! Everyone forms a shadow when they are young.
According to Sarah Regan, a Spirituality and Relationships Editor at mindbodygreen, “When we’re young, we depend on our parents or main caregivers for survival. As a result, we become very attached to them and their way of doing things.” This relationship essentially wires our brains, creates our shadow, and makes us act the way we do. Regan offers the example of an adult you trust yelling at you for being too loud and obnoxious. This experience makes it likely that you won’t feel safe speaking up later on in life. First little experiences like that can wire your brain and you don’t even realize it–even as an adult! Unless you do some shadow work.
How do you begin shadow work? You have to realize that you are working with your unconscious mind to uncover the parts of yourself that you repress and hide from yourself. It’s going to be hard. It’s best to get a journal and a shadow work prompt. Ask yourself questions that you feel fit you. Don’t rush through the questions. Take your time and thoroughly think your answers through. Remember that negative behaviors are not your fault! Figuring out why you have been acting the way you do helps you change your ways of thinking and increases the quality of everyday life. Give yourself grace and be patient. Shadow work is by no means easy, but understanding and loving the parts of us we’ve hidden away to avoid shame and discomfort is incredibly healing. Especially if we’ve been through trauma. Understanding and overcoming trauma is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, personally. Shadow work challenges me to think about things that I NEVER thought about before.
Take note: If considering the shadow sides of yourself brings about pain, suffering, or fear that you feel ill-equipped to handle, it’s time to seek the help of a licensed professional.
